I'm talking about some new TTC abbreviations to be added to the list (the LOOOONG list) of abbreviations that the infertility community embraces. I remember when I first started googling fertility questions...I needed a special dictionary! Now I speak the language, much too fluently :)
These two abbreviations are new to me and ones that I am very excited about!
First off, welcome fellow ICLW participants! This is my first month partaking in the fun and so far I'm liking it! It has been so fun receiving your comments, reading your kind words, and of course checking out all of your blogs. I am constantly inspired by you all and your strength, humor, and support of one another.
If you're new here, check out My Story and Our TTC Timeline and find out a little about me here. I am currently at the very beginning of my 4th IUI cycle on injectables and feeling very, very hopeful for this one!
Now for NIAW.
This is my first National Infertility Awareness Week as an infertile. I'm having a bit of a struggle with it only because infertility is a part of my life that I have been very private about. Our immediate family knows, but no one else. Why I have chosen this, I'm not sure. I am a private person in general, but not this private. I know my friends would be supportive and caring and they might even make this process easier. So why keep it a secret?
I think it mostly boils down to not wanting to talk about it. Telling people means having to rehash our story over and over. It means having to explain the ins and outs of our inability to make a baby naturally. Talking about it means having to listen to people tell me to take a vacation and relax and make it fun. But worst of all for me, it means telling them that it didn't work...again.
NIAW has made me rethink this.
I know firsthand the struggles of fertility, but many people do not, so how can I expect them to know what to say and how to act around me. And furthermore, the world needs to know about this, it needs to touch people personally, in order for anything to change. I know I could use a little change! A little more research, a little more support from insurance companies.
I'm not picking up the phone to spread the news just yet, but it's given me a little food for thought.
This week is the start of my fourth IUI cycle but I am going into it with a fresh, optimistic view. I'm throwing caution to the wind and putting my whole self out there. It takes all of my strength to shut out the "realistic" side of me that says it might not happen and risk the ultimate disappointment, but everyday I am going to tell myself that I am going to get pregnant this month. It's happening. My BFP's coming :)
Have a great week everyone!
Here from ICLW. Loved your "My Story" post that you linked to above. I too have "child-bearing hips" and so that made me smile.
ReplyDeleteI understand your reticence. I'm now in my late (very late, as late as you can get!) 40s, and it has been a long time since I knew I'd never have kids, and it is still something I don't shout from the rooftops. Infertility is a very intimate and very personal thing, and other people judge and hurt us, and so wanting to keep private is perfectly understandable. Wwhen I tell and who I tell is based on how I think they'll react, and my feelings at the time. I'm quite open about it - but it is still my choice when and how.
Good luck for your IUI.
Yay for hope!
ReplyDeleteMy infertility / struggle to conceive became an implied fact when people knew that I had been off the pills for a while...and I still had no baby to show for it...
It was 2004 - 2010....that's how long my drought was. I lost my firstborn daughter. It was a neonatal loss and it is only now that I have another baby.
But I still don't go about saying it. It is intimate. I am ready to listen and share whatever I can, but I am still not very open about it.
Good Luck for your cycle..
#24
Here from ICLW. Good luck with IUI #4- I'm working on IUI #2 cycle.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with IUI #4, I'm also getting ready to head back into the IF world once more after a break. I too struggle with sharing too much of our infertility journey with the world, but I feel like I should share more as well. I'm here via ICLW, I hope this week goes well for you
ReplyDeleteTalking about it also means that people will continue to ask questions and sometimes you just don't feel like answering those questIons. I am so happy to hear your positive outlook for your next IUI...good luck Emily!!
ReplyDeleteThanks Lindsay!
DeleteI'm so glad you are feeling so hopeful for your upcoming IUI! You have every reason to feel that way. I sure hope you get your BFP!!! And, I can definitely relate to your story as I come from a long line of fertiles as well... My mom had 4 "surprises" and my dad is one of 10 kids. Talk about sticking out like a sore thumb!
ReplyDeleteHoping to come back and find out you got your BFP :).
ICLW #95
I hope your upcoming IUI is successful, and staying positive definitely won't hurt! Good luck!!
ReplyDeleteit's a tough decision whether to go public or not. i can see the pros & cons to both sides, but i'm not very good at keeping things to myself, so i couldn't help but tell people. i've received so much support because of it, though, and it has helped me tremendously. good luck with your IUI! i hope the cycle goes smoothly and that you finally get your BFP!
ReplyDeleteThanks Carlia, that is definitely one of the "pros". The support we have received just from the few people that know has been so wonderful.
DeleteWelcome to ICLW! For me, it's too hard to share every bump up and down with my general world. My blog and the ALI community serve as a safer, more comfortable place to turn with my feelings sometimes without having to explain them quite so much. I respect every individuals choice, just a perspective on mine!
ReplyDeleteHi from ICLW ! Good luck with IUI #4 !!
ReplyDeleteHi from ICLW! This is also my first month participating and am loving it. Happy to connect with you! I have also chosen to remain private about our IF struggles for the sole reason that while we're going through it I feel so raw that I don't feel strong enough to handle people's weird comments. That and I don't feel strong enough to educate while it's such a sensitive topic for me. I admire people who are able to speak up while they are going through it. I also really respect people who chose to keep it private as it is entirely your decision. There will always be time to teach others how to be better supports. Best of luck to you on IUI #4!
ReplyDeleteHappy ICLW and NIAW to you! I had to giggle at your comment about speaking fluent infertility-speak. It truly is a second language! "Coming out" is a seriously tough decision....too many people feel ashamed, embarrassed, and not really sure how to tell others. It's one of the drawbacks of this disease. May you find support in whatever way is best for you right now. I wish you MUCH luck on this IUI!
ReplyDeleteICLW #19
Hi from ICLW!
ReplyDeleteI personally have always been very open about our infertility. So far, I don't regret it. Sometimes though, when I'm not really in the mood to talk about it, it can be a nuisance. Overall though, I've gotten a lot of support. I get why people are private though - people say stupid things.
Best of luck on your IUI!!!
ICLW here! It's difficult to put yourself out there when it comes to infertility. Especially when you are going through treatments like IUI. I was there 2 years ago. I was all open about it for a while, but I became closed after a few unsuccessful IUIs. It was hard to explain all the terminology over and over and then explain it again the next cycle. I wish I had been blogging then - it would have been simpler to share via blog. Hopefully, on the days when you just can't explain it to another person yet again, you can refer them to your posts for updates/terminology explanations.
ReplyDeleteI look forward to following your journey. Sending you positive IUI vibes!
Hello from ICLW! I am glad you turned to blogging for support during your struggles. I have found a whole community of wonderfully supportive women who know exactly what to say and how to provide encouraging words. I wish you the best of luck for IUI # 4 and I am glad you are holding on to that hope! Keep it till the end!!!
ReplyDeleteYou're right, this community is amazing! I am so, so thankful for everyone...I'm quite certain I would be crazy by now if I didn't have this online group of girlfriends!
Deletestopping in from iclw, havent read ur story as yet but ill take the next few mins to do so.I always enjoy meeting new ppl and reading new blogs. good luck on this cycle
ReplyDeleteHi from ICLW (#76)! I have been more open about my infertility and miscarriages as time has gone on. It kills me that there is this great community out there that is largely silent in real life. I take so much strength from my friends-in-the-computer. Before I realized this community was out there, I suffered by myself. I figure if, by being open about it, I can help one other person AND myself, it's a win.
ReplyDeleteComing out as an infertile can certainly be intimidating. But I have found reward with almost all of the people I have opened up to. It's nice for people to just fully know you. Good luck as you continue to open up!
ReplyDeleteICLW #74
Hello from ICLW! I hope things are going well for you!
ReplyDeleteStopping in from ICLW 92. Keep the positive thoughts! Good luck.
ReplyDeleteI blog for my IVF docs at Long Island IVF so I can share my stories. I’m hoping ICLW and NIAW can help me find new blogs and spread the word about LIIVF’s free Micro-IVF cycle contest kicking off this week. Details for those interested are on the blog or Long Island IVF’s FB page.
Good luck with your IUI!! I'm sending lots of good thoughts your way!!
ReplyDeleteGood Luck!!! Stay positive!
ReplyDeletePerusing your blog via ICLW (#86)
All the best for your IUI :)) Thinking of you xoxo
ReplyDeleteI totally get your want to keep it private. I didn't even question whether to keep it a secret -- I blog about everything and am generally really open -- but, as a result, I was met with a lot of things you've said you worried about. It's not easy to talk about and when you tell people, they want to talk about it. Of course then they don't know what to say and then it can make it worse. Argh!
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I just wnanted to tell you that you've already touched people with your story. It may not be your friends or your family, but judging from my personal feelings and the multiple comments on your blog, you are truly making a difference by talking about your journey to all of us. Thank you!