Guess Who Just Ordered Meds?!

This girl! 

Yikes!

That's all.

Preparations

This week marks the first week on my IVF calendar that I have been starting at obsessively since November.
I am (mostly) over my woes over not being the miracle infertile that gets knocked up just prior to beginning IVF and I am ready to get this show on the road!

I am keeping track of my cycle so that I have something to look back at once I have a baby in my arms and am obsessing over lack of sleep instead of infertility. I have heard, though can't quite imagine, that after all of the trauma and drama of IVF, people actually DO move on and can't remember all that they went though. Really?!?!

This week I also started officially prepping my body. By this, I mean that I cut out all the good stuff and am overloading my body with vitamins :)

What I'm doing:
No caffeine or alcohol
Prenatal Vitamin with DHA (although I've been taking these since 2009!)
Vitamin D 2,000 IU daily
Co-enzyme Q10 daily
Melatonin 3mg nightly
Mint tea and lots of water
Socks at all times to keep my usually frigid feet nice and toasty warm
Exercise per routine until I start stims, then no high impact or inversion exercise per RE
Circle and Bloom CDs for guided relaxation

So far, so good. With everything I've tried in the past, this regime is totally doable and very conducive to staying calm and relaxed. Next step: Lupron.

Getting real.

This is all getting very real. And terrifying and exciting and kind of sad.

The Hubs and I went in to the good ol' RE office to sign IVF consents. The constant speak of death in those things is kind of bonkers. One more mention of dying in there and I would have thought we were consenting to being thrown off of a cliff. Terrifying.

The consenting process was really quick since we had already read through everything and made a list of questions. Then came the schedule and a quick rundown of our planned schedule! 

Holy Moly! In approximately 9 days I will get my period and start birth control pills, signalling the beginning of the protocol and the end of life as we know it. For the first time since our IUIs, I feel like there's a chance I could get pregnant sometime in the near future. That's a little thing called hope creeping in, people. 

 Exciting!

This week it also dawned on me: I might have just had my very last natural ovulation (on Sunday, I think) and if that egg doesn't find a super awesome sperm this month, we're really starting this. I don't know why this is so sad to me. I feel like after over 2 years of so many things leading to this place, my mind would have adjusted and I wouldn't be so darn sad about moving on. But I am. I think it all stems from the fact that through all of these failed cycles, I still hoped beyond hope that it would work. I still hope that THIS month is going to be it and we'll scrap the whole IVF thing and be one of those couples that gets pregnant right before starting IVF. And I'm sad because the logical side of me knows that the odds of that happening are more than stacked against us. 

This is really happening...pinch!