We have embryos!

AAAAAH!!!!!

I just got a call from Dr. Tran and we officially have made embryos! 

Of the 21 eggs retrieved, 18 eggs were mature.

Of the 18 mature eggs....

18 fertilized!!!

This is the closest we have ever been to making a baby and I feel a lot better knowing that my eggs can be fertilized with Hubby's sperm (by ICSI).

Now we wait.

Day 3, Saturday, is when we will reevaluate the plan based on how well they are growing. 

Not one hour after I wrote my last post about how well I was feeling, I started having some pain. It was very, very manageable, but it was definitely uncomfortable. Mostly when I sat down or stood up or any time I made drastic changes in position.
I took a couple extra strength Tylenol and the Hubs and I trekked to Target to stock up on Gatorade and picked up a yummy burger and fries (I'm supposed to have sodium and protein to ward off the OHSS, right?) :)

Last night I was completely comfortable while sleeping, but woke up several times to pee due to all those fluids I consumed. This morning I am feeling mostly great. I'm a little sore, but haven't had to take anything yet and I have been able to go about my day as normal. I'm going to lay low and try to relax for the most part but I do plan to take the pooch out for a stroll around the neighborhood. I feel like for me, moving makes me feel better and I'm hoping it will get all those fluids moving and out of my body.

How long until you felt 100% yourself after the retrieval?

Done and Done!

Retrieval day!!!

This was a loooong time coming, but when I woke up today I had no nerves, not really and crazy excitement. I just was. I don't know, this whole thing is quite surreal to me. Part of the "problem" is that I don't really feel different. Stims were very uneventful for me. I felt my ovaries for sure, but they weren't necessarily uncomfortable, I was just more aware of them. (Probably partly because the thought of ovarian torsion freaks me out and I didn't want to do anything that would potentially flip those babies around on themselves.) Yesterday I almost wondered if I could have ovulated some of my eggs early or something because the heavy, full ovary feeling was basically gone. 

Anyway...I'll move on. I'm lucky and did not have discomfort.

Today my retrieval was scheduled for 9:30 am with a 9:00am check in for preparation. 

I arrived and was led to a changing room where I donned a gown and paper hat and booties (over my knee high cozy socks). I was then led to a pre-warmed chair and covered in warm blankets. When I win the lottery I will have a blanket warmer in my bedroom. The Nurses went through the pre-op checklist of "have you ever had -...-?" questions and started my IV. By the way, the IV was a monster. I didn't catch the gauge, but I'm pretty sure it was a hose. She popped it in on the first try, but my hand still hurts from that thing. I then was started on IV fluids and got an IV antibiotic. 

The anesthesiologist came over, ran through a series of basically the same "have you ever had -...-?" questions and then gave me my drug cocktail. By the time I walked back to the retrieval room I was definitely feeling the effects of it!

I put my legs (yes, pretty much the whole leg goes in) into the massive stirrups and the rest is anesthesia history! The next thing I knew, I was waking up for quite a delightful nap in the recovery area. Mr Hubby was brought back and we chatted for a while as I woke up and then The REs came back to check in and tell us that we got 21 eggs. 

I was a little surprised that it wasn't more based upon how they kept going on about how I was such an egg machine, but I am 100% happy with the 21! After some cranberry juice and some graham crackers, we were on our way! A quick stop at Whole Foods for a snack and some Gatorade, and now back at home. 

I am feeling really good right now, pretty rested from my power nap :) and not having pain. I'm spotting a little bit and am trying to lay low for the day despite feeling like I could do something productive. Later today I will start my methilpredisolone and progesterone just in case the transfer does happen on day 3, but otherwise I will just be anxiously awaiting the fertilization report tomorrow afternoon and watching crappy daytime TV. 

Now, for all of you that have traveled this journey before me, any awesome tips for warding off OHSS or for general recovery? It's hard for me to imagine that I could blow up like a big balloon now since I haven't had any bloating so far, but I've heard it's worse after retrieval. Always something to look forward to ;)

FET vs. Fresh Transfer

Thank you to everyone for your kind words and realistic comments. I needed all of your reassurance and years of experience with these things to make me feel better about the pickle of a situation we're in. 

As I was browsing blogs last night for ICLW, I found an article that spoke of the Fresh vs Frozen transfer research. I don't know which blog I found it on (sorry!), but I was able to track the article down again. It's an interesting read that discusses how some clinics have studied using FET instead of fresh transfers to increase the safety of IVF and in some cases increase the pregnancy rates. It was a very timely find for me and really put my mind at ease. Give it a read.

I didn't explain my RE's the reasoning very well last night I don't think because I got a lot of questions about why he would transfer on day 3 but not day 5.

His thought it:

*The safest for me and probably the best pregnancy outcomes will come from delaying transfer until next cycle.

*We have elected to attempt to grow our embaby(ies) to 5 days so we can transfer the least amount of embryos. (Our clinic is big on single transfer for women less than 35 if possible to decrease multiples.)

*If at day 3 the embryo quality does not look ideal, growing to 5 days might not be a good option because we would likely lose embryos in the growing process, so we would use the 3 day embryos instead.

*If the quality of the embryos at day 3 is not good, there is a risk that they would not survive the freeze/thaw process, leaving us with few or no embryos to FET next cycle.

*If that was the case, he/we would weigh the risks and benefits of transferring at day 3 and risking OHSS vs the risk of not ending up with any embryos.

As much as I would love to get some babies growing in the ute, I hope that we don't have to discuss that 3 day transfer option! 

I am officially "triggered" and am sending good thoughts and vibes to my big ass ovaries to produce some good quality eggs! By the way, speaking of eggs...did I mention that the RE who did my scan yesterday compared me to a chicken with all my eggs!? Ha! Never thought I'd be compared to a chicken!
Thanks for all of your well wishes!

The Best Laid Plans

I saw Dr. Tran's phone number on my caller ID this afternoon and knew that we were not going to go with the tentative plan I had discussed with the Nurse at my monitoring appointment this morning. 

My estradiol level is 4830 and I have more than 30 follicles, both of which put me in the high risk for OHSS category. I knew this, but I didn't know what that meant for us.

Thank goodness, the trigger and retrieval are still in the plan. I think I would have lost my zen completely if it had been cancelled, and no amount of Circle and Bloom could have brought it back! 

The new plan:

Trigger tonight at 9:30pm with a reduced dose of HCG.

Retrieval on Wednesday at 9:30am.

Evaluate at 3 days based on embryo quality if we are going to grow to 5 day blastocysts or transfer 2 day 3 embryos at that point. 

If good quality at day 3, wait until day 5 and freeze all embryos.

Wait (more waiting?!?), get my period, go through one full cycle, then FET the cycle after that.

I know that this is the right thing to do. I know that it is the most safe thing and the option that gives us the best chance of conceiving, but damn it! I am so disappointed! I thought that in 7 days I would have an embryo or two in my chronically empty uterus! I thought that in two weeks I might get my first positive pregnancy test. And now we will wait again.

This is also throwing a big kink in my IVF vacation! Woe is me :) 

Now I'm not sure if I should indulge myself with the full two weeks if next week I will not be doing anything at all. Although, the RE did say that even without transferring, I will probably end up with some form of OHSS. So maybe I'll take the week and let my bloated self recoup. Ugh. 

If nothing else, infertility has taught me that despite how hard I try to be in control, I can not plan everything. I thought I had earned this already, but the schedule seemed so lovely and laid out to perfection...I thought I could safely count on it. 

I'm trying to not wallow in my disappointment and to consider myself lucky that we have gotten this far and that the cycle was not cancelled. We still have lots to look forward to, but right now I'm so bummed. :(

Kind of Freaking Out

Appointment today went well, still lots of follicles, getting closer, but one more day until trigger probably. I left feeling great, calm.

Then I got the call from the nurse. 

Estradiol is 4238. 

No mention of anything weird from her, just instructions to stop my Gonal-F but continue with Lupron and Menopur at the same doses. 

Then came google. 

And it seems that the estradiol level is high. 

No call from Dr. Tran.

And now I'm freaking out, thoughts of cancelled cycles and OHSS swimming through my head. 

Google be damned! 

Anyone out there with good stories of kind of high estradiol levels prior to trigger? I've been obsessively scrolling through blog posts trying to see if anyone mentioned what their levels were with no luck. My appointment tomorrow cannot come soon enough.

Cycle Updates

First, thanks to all of you for stopping by from ICLW! I have found some fun new blogs to follow and have enjoyed reading your comments :)

I am officially done with work for now and am ready for some serious relaxation and hopefully some serious baby-making. I spoke of my IVF vacation, which happens to be just that I have tons of sick time stored up and my boss was kid enough to let me use 2 weeks of it so I could take time off this cycle. I feel pretty lucky!

I had my monitoring appointment this morning and all is progressing well in follicle land. The covering RE introduced himself to me and said, "Dr. Tran and I were talking about you yesterday. He said, 'You will be meeting Emily tomorrow. She has LOTS of follicles.'"

Awesome. I think I might start introducing myself to people that way.

I, in fact, did not know that I had lots of follicles, but apparently I do. I am generally a very inquisitive person, always asking lots of questions and then going home to research all the information. I am putting those instincts on hold. So I have not inquired as to exactly how many follicle I have and if that is what they are hoping for, and I have not obsessively calculated how many embryos I thing we'll get out of this thing. 

Because it hasn't mattered in the past. It will not help me get pregnant. And I have to trust that things are on track, otherwise the RE would tell me, right? I'm trying my very best to be calm and just go with the flow because it is all out of my control. For the first time in our fertility journey, there is nothing I can do to make this work or not work. (Aside from my massive supply of supplements, no caffeine/alcohol regime, and a few other voodoo-ish tricks up my sleeve.) :)

My Estradiol was 2360 today and the counted follicles were somewhere in the range of 30. I am going back in tomorrow for another monitoring appointment and trigger is estimated to be Monday night with a retrieval on Wednesday! 

For now, the plan is:

ICSI

If more than 8 embryos, we will go for a 5 day transfer of 1-2 embryos. 

I am still feeling mostly very good. I would say my most noticeable side effects are the very full feeling ovaries and my constant urge to pee. Like every 5 minutes. Which seems like a side effect of the giant ovaries. The Husband is now extremely nervous in anticipation of my pregnancy pee habits.

My Ovaries Are Present and Accounted For

First off, welcome if you're here from ICLW! I haven't participated in a while, but it's fun to be back!

My ovaries are there, and I'm starting to really feel them.

I can't say that it's uncomfortable yet, but it's getting there. I remember from my IUIs that prior to ovulation I always felt kind of like...this. But I still have a while to go before retrieval, so I'm not sure how I'm going to feel that day! Like a balloon ready to pop, maybe!

If you're new here, check out my My Infertility Timeline and My IVF Timeline . But here's the short version: 

The Hubby and I have been married since 2009 and TTC since 2010. We tried 4 injectable IUI cycles last year and are now on day 7 of stims in our first IVF cycle.

Tomorrow is my last day of work before my IVF "vacation" and I am so excited to be able to kick back and enjoy some much needed downtime as I watch my stomach bloat :)