F#*K!

Seriously?

This was not my best day ever.

Four days from my planned FET and shit happens. Bad shit. Like cancelled cycle bad.

I got a call from the RE office yesterday after my progesterone level came back. Still too low, so they didn't think I had ovulated yet. I went back today for a followup level and got a call from the RE a tad bit too early to be a routine call. "It's not good news" he said right away. My progesterone level was even a little bit lower than yesterday. WTF. The cycle theoretically could be salvaged if they pumped me up with a ton of progesterone, but the odds of it succeeding are very low and not worthy of my best embryo. 

So.....

We start over. This time with a controlled cycle. Boo. Hiss.

I am So. Disappointed.

I know that this is the right thing to do. I know that. But BOO!!!

Dr. Tran said that the silver lining is that they now have a clue to why we have not succeeded in the past. My progesterone levels have always been normal at CD 21, but I've never tested this early, so the theory is that my progesterone level doesn't rise fast enough to get a pregnancy going. Maybe. He explained that "normal" progesterone at CD 21 is kind of a mystery. Some people say that the level should be above 5. Some say above 10. No one's really that sure. He does know that mine was supposed to be 2.5 or greater after ovulation and it's only 1.3. 

So we put off procreation for another long while. What's another couple months, right? :(

It already feels like eternity.

I haven't gotten my revised plan yet, but it sounds like I'll start birth control pills again when I get my period and start lupron after that, this time with progesterone patches. 

But for now we wait. While everyone and their Mother gets knocked up the old fashioned way.

Trigger Happy

I have been testing with OPKs for several days now and still no positive. Yesterday I started feeling like ovulation was near (only an infertile can predict ovulation without OPKs!) but still no positive this morning, so in to the clinic I went. Sure enough, big whopping follicle on the right side ready and waiting to come on out. Because I'm on CD15, my RE decided to give me a trigger shot of HCG tonight so I would ovulate. I think just to be sure that my body didn't do something wonky and decide to hold off for a while or not ovulate at all :)

The control freak in me feels a little bit better now that this cycle is not all depending on my own body! Ha ha!

I will trigger tonight around 10pm, go back tomorrow morning for a progesterone level check, and then we're free to live our lives as scheduled until the transfer on Saturday! I am so excited to get one of those maybe-babies in here!!!

Back to Square Two

Hello ICLWers!

Today was my CD11 ultrasound in preparation for my natural FET. I have one 12 mm follicle on my right ovary that is looking like it will be the winner this month. Except that it's not going to make a baby. But it will get some of the job done :) The plan is to put one nearly perfect embryo into my uterus six days after ovulation, so hopefully next week! Yippee! 

I expressed my concerns about the lack of progesterone support and he said, "You want progesterone!? In your ass everyday!?" Uh, no Doc, not really...but kind of.

He explained that I will be getting a shot of HCG instead and since it lasts longer I will not need the progesterone. I haven't researched all of that quite yet, but that will come tonight. I think I'm on board after his reassurance.

So now we're back to square two. Not quite square one, where we have sex and fun, but square two where I hold my pee so I can do an OPK at the right time of day. But this time, the timed intercourse will not be important (although you better believe we'll still have it...just in case!) but so that I can then schedule an ultrasound to make sure I ovulate so they can time my FET. 

I can't wait! Any FET, implantation, etc. tips?

Natural feels very...NOT natural

I had my baseline ultrasound yesterday and my ovaries look "quiet". Fab. Moving on to FET as planned. 

Next appointment is scheduled for next Wednesday (cycle day 11) and I will start ovulation testing next Tuesday. I think I'm going to be super anal and test twice daily as my acupuncturist once recommended. The last thing I need is to miss my ovulation or something.

Here is where I need some serious help/reassurance. I clarified the plan for my natural FET and all of this naturalness is really starting to freak me out. Has anyone out there done a natural FET??? 

No progesterone at all? Now don't get me wrong, missing out on a nightly shot in the butt sounds more than a little awesome. But....

Has anyone successfully been able to trust their body to do the right thing? My mind is not adjusting well to the idea of not doing anything at all when the original plan was to do everything.
I'm going to talk with my RE about my concerns, but I have a feeling he is going to reassure me that they will monitor, etc and not to worry. I know we have a lot of frozen babes in there, but I don't want to waste any on a "we thought your body would make its only progesterone, but it didn't" situations. I also have always had a weird feeling that my progesterone might drop just after the normal CD 21 that they test it on because every 9 DPO, I feel a weird shift and I know I'm going to get my period even though it doesn't come for many more days.

What do you all think? Am I being paranoid? Should I use the progesterone that I already have in my possession from scheduled fresh transfer ;)

Counting Again

And here we are.

Cycle day uno.

It has been a wait, that is for certain, but it has been maybe the most un-fertility-focused time we have had in years. I mean, if I was ever going to get pregnant due to that "lack of trying luck", this would have been the time. 

I can't say that I wasn't paying attention at all, but I wasn't timing intercourse or logging into Fertilityfriend daily, so it was an improvement!

I have an ultrasound early next week and hopefully we'll be on our way.

Ready or not, FET here we come!

Bored and Impatient

I have approximately six weeks between my egg retrieval and the start of Mission Frozen Embryo Transfer. At first, I must say, I was feeling quite...great. It's amazing how marked the difference is between my body when I'm on meds and my body when I am not. I didn't realize how off I felt for the last few months as my body was pumped with drugs until I got my period and felt so myself again. 

But now I am extremely bored and even more impatient. Boring is usually kind of good in the world of fertility treatments, but not doing anything just feels weird and not productive after so much time of doing things to try to get knocked up. 

And seriously. Six weeks feels incredibly long when you're waiting around for a period to start so you can finally use the embryos that are just waiting to come to life in your uterus. It's like a two week wait on steroids. 

I have also been feeling kind of crampy the last few days, almost like I am about to get my period. And crabby, crabby, crabby. I'm assuming that my hormones are all out of whack and my body is trying to figure out what to do next, but the thought of being in this cranky state for the next week or so until my period starts doesn't sound so fun. I'm not sure if The Hubby will survive. 

The good news is that in somewhere around a week, the waiting game will end and the ultrasounds and body preparation will begin! I can't wait!!!

Natural It Is

FET cycle that is. Because clearly nothing else about our baby-making has been natural.

I had a consult with my RE today to discuss which way to go: Natural or medicated Frozen Embryo Transfer. I was *kind of* leaning towards medicated before our talk for fear of a cancelled cycle due to me not ovulating, but Dr. Tran brought up some good points for us to consider. 

No medications for 6 weeks. I didn't have any weird side effects from the Lupron, but the thought of being medication free for almost 6 weeks is kind of nice. Especially since immediately after, I will be getting jabbed with a big, fat progesterone shot in the booty for many weeks. 

Second point well made by the Doc: we have waited a long time for this. My first reaction was "Yes. So cancelling a cycle would make me wait EVEN LONGER! NO!!!" But the chances that the cycle would be cancelled are pretty low. And honestly, what is one month in the grand scheme of things? Pretty minor. I am a firm believer that we will get a baby in my uterus eventually, and the less I try to schedule it out, the better for my mental health. I'm going to trust my body one last time to do the right thing and ovulate :) And if it doesn't: next month Lupron!

Since I was pretty on the fence about which way to go, because he was leaning towards natural, we're going with it. 

I also clarified some questions I had about how the FET process would actually go.

How do they pick which to thaw? And how many? What if they don't thaw well? Thaw the best embryo and pop it in. If it doesn't thaw well there is time to thaw another and put that one in. 

Sounds reasonable.

Based on the quality and quantity of the embryos we have, is the plan to still transfer one?

He said I would have to break his arm to convince him to transfer more than one. 

Alrighty then :) I am totally on board with this, but definitely gave me a chuckle.

I'm definitely excited about this, but trying very hard to remain calm and not think about it too much. Ha.