Ultrasound Eve

It is ultrasound eve! I am both excited and scared out of my brains about this. 

I have been symptom-spotting up the wazoo since the disappearance of anything mildly "pregnanty" (totally not a word) but have been trying to reassure myself by what so many of you said about symptoms and lack of symptoms.Thank you for all of those pearls of wisdom!

I will say, the slightly (and I mean, slightly) sore breasts have returned. And do my A cups look more like an A+? And I have some very milk food aversions that usually come on part way through a meal when I realize that whatever I'm eating that tasted good at first doesn't taste good anymore. That's it kids. They're either symptoms or I'm imagining it all. In 3 years of TTC, these would not be the first symptoms I've imagined!

I was talking to The Hubby about the ultrasound today and realized how little I know of what to expect from tomorrow. I think we will either see a baby or we won't and it will either be the right size or it won't and it will have a heartbeat or there will be nothing ticking in there. Sound about right?

I honestly have no idea how I am going to wait until 3:45 tomorrow! I might have to kidnap an ultrasound tech at work in the morning and bribe him to scan me. I'm only kind of joking...

The Case of the Disappearing Symptoms

Today I am, by my calculations, 6 weeks pregnant. I think.

This "two week wait" between the betas and the ultrasound has been one of the harder I've had. I was feeling good after the betas, but then felt helpless. With no symptoms to lean on, no pee sticks to reassure me, and a whole lotta progesterone on board, I can't keep the miscarriage thoughts out of my head. Could I have miscarried but the progesterone is holding it all in? Will there be a heart rate? Will it measure on track? 

Obviously, no amount of worrying or lack there of is going to change the outcome, but I just can't help than to let it dominate my each and every thought.

The past week has been strange. I thought I had some mild symptoms: slightly tender breasts, some extra sleepiness in the afternoons, and a tinge of nausea when I woke up and when I had an empty stomach. Then yesterday...nothing. Hmph. Not sure what to make of it, but hoping I'm just a lucky lady who doesn't have a slew of symptoms. 

I also had to tell someone I was pregnant for the first time ever, my yoga teacher. I think she thought I was crazy when she asked me how far along I was and I said, "5 weeks 3 days". I felt like such an imposter saying I was pregnant! So strange.

Anyway...five more days until we either see a baby or don't.

If it's still in there...the bitty one is the size of a lentil or a sprinkle today :)

Aaaaaaah!!!!! a.k.a. Beta #2

This morning's beta was 4,842! That's a doubling time of 49 hours and just where they want me to be.
The first ultrasound is scheduled for July 22nd!
And today I am 5 weeks pregnant. Holy moly.
In other news: my butt is a delightful combination of painful when jiggled and numb, and I think I might have a trace of a symptom: nausea that lasted most of the day yesterday and some of the morning today!!! Yippee! 

Nada

So....I know it's early and all, but I'm not feeling ANYTHING. Zero symptoms of any kind. Not gonna lie, it's making me nervous. Really nervous. I'm 4dp5dt, supposedly right smack in the middle of implantation and I have not felt a thing. 

I'm trying to stay calm and zen, doing my daily Circle and Bloom guided meditation and trying to keep myself distracted, but a little something to let me know that the bitty baby is planning on sticking around would work like a valium on calming me down a bit.

This is the worst two week wait ever!

And while I'm at it, who makes an IVF patient wait a full 2 weeks for a beta!? Seriously?!