Two Week Wait

This Two Week Wait moaning and groaning is not new to the infertility blogging world. I doubt if I have anything new to add to this topic. 

But I still have to say...it really sucks.

I remember when we first started trying, when we were still so filled with hope. 

The first month, when my period was "late" I was convinced that I was pregnant and took several (ok, more than several) pregnancy tests before I realized that my cycles were just really long.

The two week wait used to be filled with lots of pregnancy dreams. I used to calculate my due date and think about when and how we would tell our family and friends.

Now the two week wait involves a lot of feeling absolutely helpless and hopeless. There are no more pregnancy dreams. No more calculating of due dates, because I have been there and done that, and every time I am more disappointed than the last when my period starts and another cycle has come and gone.

But every single one of those fourteen or so days is filled with mind-consuming thoughts. I can hardly concentrate on anything else. I am utterly focused on how many days past ovulation I am and what possible symptoms I could be experiencing, but probably am not.

Did you know there are whole websites dedicated to finding things to do to pass these two weeks? Well, buying maternity clothes and picking out baby names may have worked for the first few cycles, but now doing anything related to babies is just downright depressing. Now, I try to do things (anything!) that keep my mind off babies and pregnancy (ha ha ha...right.)