This morning I started bleeding. It was pretty much my worst nightmare coming to life when I saw those drops of blood on my underwear. Then when I wiped and it kept coming I went into a state of...not sure, I guess focused devastation.
We went into the hospital to be checked and experience such a spectrum of emotions. The first nurse we spoke to was reassuring that this could be normal and hopefully just a part of my normal pregnancy. A bump in the road.
The first doctor we saw was a resident that I now think of as Satan. She was doom and gloom to the max. She did a cervical exam and saw no new blood, but a bit of old blood on my cervix. Then she did the ultrasound and found the heartbeat right away. Nothing about that was reassuring to me, mostly because I've watched this story play out before through so many of you, and the news isn't always good even when there is still a heartbeat. Then she proceeded to say, "the most common reason for bleeding at this time is miscarriage" and walk me though what a miscarriage will look like if it happens to me. She also said that it will be labeled a threatened abortion.
Then my OB, who happened to be there today came in and had me go over what was going on. She was much more positive and had more of a "let's hope for the best" approach. Better, but not sunshine and butterflies.
We're leaving for what was to be a relaxing trip to Kauai tomorrow. I'm not sure how relaxing it will be, but at least now that lounging is going to be the name of my game, I'll have a good place to do that in. No hiking or kayaking for me!
I can't believe this...please let this be "normal". At nine weeks miscarriage rates are 0.5%, why oh why do I always seem to be part of the less than 1%?
