When you suddenly become a cliche of the most annoying kind

Hi there. Long lost blogger here. Truth be told, it’s been so long that I actually forgot my login information and it took me a shockingly long time to hack my way back into my account.

Anyway...as per the usual, I’m still following along with so many of you and particularly have loved seeing even more of you on Instagram!

But I’ve returned to this space because sometimes there’s no where else to go.

I bet if I held a poll for 1 billion infertiles with the one question, “What’s the absolute most annoying thing someone has said to you about infertility?” that at least 90% would answer, “Just relax and stop trying so hard and it will happen!”  (Or something along that line and equally as infuriating.)

And then that actually happened to me.

8 years, one IVF cycle, 2 FETs, and 2 kids later, my body figured it’s shit out and I’m pregnant. WTF. 

I took my IUD out, we made plans to meet with an RE in the Fall if we felt like we wanted to try for a third baby at that time. Then 31 days after my first period since Owen was born, I took an expired pregnancy test because I just had a weird feeling that I should have gotten my period and hadn’t. And two lines. 9 weeks today and still wondering if this is all some big joke. I don’t know what to say. Life is so weird. Bodies are so weird. This is all so weird.

Shameless Plug

As if I'm not busy enough, you know, raising babies...

I have decided to start a little side gig while on maternity leave. The decision kind of was made because I was spending ALL the money on skincare products and I needed a discount. But listen: if you're having weird hormonal skin issues, I was SAVED by this. 

I had crazy IVF skin, crazy pregnancy skin, and crazy postpartum skin with my last pregnancy. This time around I was proactive and decided to try something new that I had heard great things about. Long story short...zero skin issues. 4 months postpartum and not a blemish or rash or red spot. 

So I signed up because I'm sold (and need to save money).

If you're interested, check me out. I have my very own website, so I'm kind of a big deal ;)

Visit me here!

And! If you're interested in a little side money of your own, I'm growing my team, so let me know and I'll send you some info.

Advertisement done. Now for some cute baby deliciousness.

Because...toddlers.

The happiest.

This girl gets me EVERY TIME!

Turns out, I kind of suck at this.

My little guy is almost 3 months old and I did not post anything about it. I have been meaning to update you all, but...

I don't know. No excuses! I mean besides the normal "I have a newborn and toddler" thing that is life now!

In a nutshell:

-I went into labor at exactly 35 weeks (just like my daughter!) and delivered my sweet baby boy by C Section (due to a transverse lie) about 2 hours later. I was 8 cm dilated when we got to the hospital, so all that back pain was apparently labor. Oooooops!

-C section recovery was hard. Man, I didn't expect that level of ouch.

-Baby Boy is the sweetest thing ever. Holy moly he's a chill baby. Good eater, good sleeper, happy as a little clam 99% of the time. Love him, like woah.

-Toddler life is kind of hard. Adjusting to being a big sister is kind of hard. Big sisters don't always know how to express that, so temper tantrums and meltdowns are a thing. 

-Life is good and I type one-handed always, so sentences are short ;)

Blogging is going to be sporadic for a time. Maybe forever. So...if you'd like to stay in the loop, here's my instagram! 

Also, I was recently featured on one of my favorite blogs, Design Mom, talking about growing our little family! Crazy cool, starstruck moment for me because I've been reading the series for so long!

And finally...meet Owen William!!!

 I still follow along with all of your journeys (even if I don't usually comment! I blame it on the on-handed typing thing again!)

xo- Emily

Still Cooking!

I'm still pregnant! Three cheers for that!

I was discharged home from the hospital at 30 weeks because, despite contracting every few minutes, I had not dilated further. At that time, the doctors were very concerned that I would deliver within two weeks and that it might happen really quickly, so I had strict instructions to not do much of anything and to call 911 at the first signs of labor. I am currently 33 2/7 weeks and feeling much more secure. I still am not allowed to pick up my daughter (or lift anything, actually), but I can get out and about a little bit and have been getting some things done around the house. Mostly I am feeling good that if I have the baby, it will most likely need very little interventions and should be able to come home after just a brief stay in the NICU. Still, I'm crossing my fingers and my toes that he stays in a few more weeks so he can skip the NICU all together! We also have a LOT of nursery prep to still complete, so there's that. I'm fully prepared to not finish it before he's born, but it just gets so much harder once they're here that I'm afraid we'll never finish! Small problems. 

"Couch rest" as I've been calling it, is not so bad. Being in the hospital was rough and I was just so bored, but being home has given me the illusion that I'm just having some extra downtime to get stuff done. A lot can be done from a couch, people: laundry folding, baby-book completion (thanks for that suggestion!), girl clothing purging and organizing, reality TV watching, online shopping...some days I feel quite productive! 

As far as the pregnancy goes, I'm feeling pretty good. So very different from last time in just about every way. I honestly never felt quite so giant as I do now. Sleep is getting more challenging by the day, as is life in general. Just the normal woes: hard to shave my legs, hard to get off the floor after lego sessions with my gal, and I have quite the waddle going on. The biggest thing has probably been my immune system, or lack there of. I got a wicked cough just as I was discharged from the hospital that lingered and lingered, and now I am fighting a sinus cold. Ugh. This little guy is sucking the life out of me ;)

Here's the latest belly shot! Taken about a week ago.

This is Hard

I'm not really sure where to start.

This has not been easy. I have been contracting on and off for several weeks and have had many visits to L+D to be checked. My house has also been struck with so many stomach bugs this year that it (literally) makes me barf. My sweet hubs just got pneumonia and was out of commission for a week. It just hasn't been all that great around here for the last 6 weeks or so! 

I really started contracting on Thursday when I was 28 4/7 weeks and I was admitted to L+D for monitoring, betamethasone treatment to help mature the baby's lungs, and some tocolytics. Almost a week later, I am here in that same space of wait and watch, dilated to 3cm, hoping and wishing that this baby stays in for many more weeks. And there is absolutely nothing that I can do but hope and lay in bed. Awesome. 

I go between feeling semi-at peace with the situation and my lack of control and the opposite extreme of feeling pissed off that this is happening and super anxious at what the outcome will be and the long road ahead. The thought of staying in the hospital many more weeks is daunting, but even more so is the thought of having a baby is the NICU for many weeks. So I'm focusing on staying pregnant. But damn. Every single time my daughter and husband leave the hospital at night, I die. They are both handling this like rock stars: Daddy in full awesome Daddy and house-husband mode, and Piper her sweet, blissful two-year-old self, seemingly unaware of how weird this situation is. For that I am super grateful.

So now we wait; everyday a little closer to my due date and baby a little stronger and bigger. Good thoughts for a quiet and calm uterus and a healthy baby are appreciated!

Poppin'

Week 17 brought a big ol' belly pop. It's 100% apparent that I'm pregnant now, which I love because I don't feel like I look so fat! I did finally invest in some new clothes: a couple pairs of jeans and some non-maternity shirts that are cute but and should see me through most of my pregnancy. It's amazing what a little wardrobe update did for my feeling of cuteness. I went from feeling totally frumpy to kinda cute. 

Physically, I am feeling pretty great almost all of the time with very few food aversions left over from the first trimester! I even have started adding some decaf lattes into my morning mix, which if you know me means that I am getting back to normal ;)

The only big news is the upcoming ultrasound...a couple more weeks until we find out the gender. I am SO MUCH MORE IMPATIENT this time around for some reason. I feel pretty different than I did last time, so I'm putting my money on a boy! I just want to know. Now.

Not many symptoms except for hiccups!

How amazing is a non-maternity shirt with strategically-place buttons for belly growth!?

Weekly Updates Start...Now!

16 weeks, guys. 

It's big for me. I don't quite know why. 4 monthsish. Crazy talk.

It is FLYING by for the most part, even though the embryo transfer feels like it was a long time ago. I am feeling much more pregnant than I did at this point last time. I am bigger (like, a lot bigger), some back pain, hungry all.the.time. and just overall feeling pregnant.

The hardest part of the whole thing for me is how yucky I feel. Physically I am pretty much better, but the first 14-15 weeks were really, really bad. Sick and tired, heartburn, grossness. I feel almost 100% better now, but I think those weeks took a toll on me. 

Last time I felt cute and like I looked pretty good through the end. This time I feel like a run-down whale. Part of this is because I'm legitimately huge and part of this is because I'm not energetic enough to care a whole lot about how I'm dressed and made up. I'm going to try to change this.

I think I'm giving myself more "free passes" related to pregnancy this go around. If I want another cookie, I've been eating another cookie. But I stepped on the scale at my last OB appointment and almost lost my mind. Also, I tried to put on some jeans that I wore through my third trimester last time and I literally could not get them over my ass. So...healthy snacking is in order. And new clothes.

I have not taken many pictures of myself either (which I know I will regret later), so I'm going to make a very big effort to take weekly photos and post a weekly update so I have something to look back on! 

Week sixteen was a pretty good one (aside from the pants incident!)

I am definitely feeling some little baby movements now and they are much more than just flutters! It is so fun! I can't wait to be able to feel them on the outside!!!

I feel like my energy has picked up a little too, so that's been a welcome treat.

This week also brought a lot more baby talk at work because the news is slowly reaching everyone. I didn't do a formal announcement or social media announcement, so it has really been word of mouth and lots of suspicious belly glances :)

Without further ado...the bump.

Happy weekend, friends!