P-p-p-paranoia!

I little snippet into my life right now: nausea. 

Oh god, the nausea. 

Heartburn, yuck. 

Oh yeah, I'm pregnant! I almost forgot in the chaos that is the life of a Mom of a 22-month-old. Maybe I should check what the miscarriage rates for today are since I'm probably not pregnant anymore. 

Am I feeling cramping? 

Shit, are my underwear wet? 

I'm bleeding. I must be bleeding. Hmm...no blood. Fab. 

Oh no, I might throw up. Must eat immediately. 

So bloated. So fat.

I thought that maybe I might be less nervous this time around, but it seems that the first trimester is just as much of a bitch the second time around. Maybe worse, honestly.

The symptoms are there much of the time, like whoa, but other times I feel nothing. Why, oh why has no one invented a portable ultrasounds machine for post-infertility preggos?!?!

I have ultrasound #2 with my RE tomorrow, which I hope will put my mind slightly at ease for 2.5 minutes. Then first the first OB appointment in scheduled for next Friday. Since my last pregnancy ended in a slightly preterm birth, this time I'm considered high risk so am going to start seeing a maternal fetal medicine specialist instead of the run-of-the-mill OB I saw last time. I have no idea what this means or if anything will be different, but I guess I'll find out next week! I have an inkling that I will continue progesterone injections throughout the pregnancy (hoping for only once a week, but the RE wasn't sure). My ass cheeks are starting to get pretty lumpy and sore, but I could definitely handle it if it was only every 7 days instead of every. single. day. 

We shared the news with our immediate families over the Thanksgiving holiday and shocked everyone! Pretty drastically different than the last time when they were all waiting for it impatiently! I was really surprised that my Mom didn't guess before since I was SUPER tired and nauseous for the few days leading up to the announcement. 

So, that's life now! I am going to start posting weekly updates because I feel like I need to document this time in some way or it will pass in a flash and I won't remember anything. It's just so different than last time where I obsessed over everyday and moment!

Carbs, etc.

Last weekend we shared the news of our March arrival with our immediate families. It was amazing to see the utter joy that the news brought, and great to be able to talk freely for a change! Keeping this huge of a secret from everyone was harder than I thought it would be.
Interestingly, both families said that they had a feeling...talk about parents' intuition!

We came up with a pretty fun way to tell everyone and had little books printed for both families with this:

133 Injections...

65 Doctor Appointments...

31 Ultrasounds...

2 Surgeries...

37 Eggs...

13 Embryos...

725 Cocktails not sipped...

59 Cigars not smoked...

$23,960.70...

(Ultrasound Picture), Arriving March 2014...Priceless

Way cuter is person and in the form of a booklet, but you get the idea :)

Besides that excitement, this week included a lot of carbs. Like a LOT. To say I have been having some morning sickness is putting it mildly. It is all day sickness, which thank goodness has not involved vomit, but nonetheless makes me feel like utter crap. It feels ironically a lot like a terrible hangover, spins and all. For a girl who hasn't had a hangover since TTC, I find this a cruel joke. Hence the massive amounts of carbs. I have been noshing on bread like a starving person because it's the only way to keep the nausea at bay. Monday I literally went into the bathroom at work and cried because I felt so yucky. That was a first. But, no joke, as I hung my head between my legs (dangerously close to the toilet bowl, I might add) I thought of how many times I pleaded and prayed for this exact thing. How many times I listened to a knocked up mama-to-be complain and thought, "You have no idea how lucky you are". So I am thankful. For every moment that this baby continues to show its presence. I know without a doubt that I would take 57 months of this unpleasantness if it meant I'd meet our baby in seven months. No more pity parties here.

Tuesday we indeed saw the little sucker that is making its Mama so sick. It was nothing short of amazing to see the little blob of blurry cells, twice as big as last week, heart beating (they didn't measure how fast).

 

 Today marks 8 weeks.

You guessed it, we have a raspberry-sized baby up in there!