5dp5dt

Wow, you guys. This FET process could not be more different from my last. Last time I was zen. Last time I was calm. Last time I was Circle and Blooming like a champ.

Last Thursday one blastocyst was transfered. That's about the only similarity. 

That night (even with my valium on board) we had our daycare woman and her husband over to watch the football game that The Hubs begrudgingly missed seeing live because of the FET. Entertaining them and my 21 month old was not exactly the relaxing evening I had hoped for. 

The next day our daycare was closed and The Hubs was traveling for work, so I spent the day pumpkin patching with my sweet girl and a friend and her daughter. So much fun, but also not so relaxing. 

Then all hell broke loose. The barfing happened. ALL the barfing. 

Piper started throwing up Friday afternoon and didn't stop until bedtime. The next day I had to help out with the NICU reunion that my hospital hosts every year, so we all trucked into the city and spent a fun day with the throw up a seemingly distant memory. 

That night it hit me bad. All night I was up and out of bed feeling sick as a dog. The next morning Nick woke up with the same thing. To say the day was a living hell is an understatement. I'm pretty sure a toddler-stomach flu combination should be considered legitimate torture. It goes down in history as one of my worst days ever. 

Needless to say, I was not thinking much about the FET, ecxept to think, "this does not seem like a good thing". I hope my body didn't expel EVERYTHING in it, like it felt like it did. Anyway, I completely forgot about my progesterone injection. I had a momentary freak out when I woke up teh next morning, but I'm hoping a late dose wouldn't sabotage the whole cycle. 

Ugh. 

So...that's how it's been, hence the no blogging since the transfer.

And today I will test. Last time around I got my first BFP EVER 5dp5dt, so I'll try for a second one. I will likely keep the results to myself for a few days either way, but I don't know. 

I'm feeling absolutely nothing right now, but had some slight cramping and tightness on day one and  two. I'm feeling pretty neutral right now, I honestly think it could go either way, so only time will tell...

Happenings and comparisons

We're still gearing up for the FET next Thursday (!!!)

The lining check last Thursday showed a lining of 12.3. Like last time, I'm trying not to ask a lot of questions or google like crazy any of my numbers. At this point, it's going to work or it is not and my normal over-googling to the max sometimes makes me more stressed. According to the Nurse Practitioner, my lining looks good and I am on track for a Thursday transfer. Woah. 

Last night was my first progesterone injection, and for some reason that brought all the memories back like nothing else has so far this cycle. That's where the comparing is starting to happen. Like just yesterday when I got my lining number, I thought, "hmm...wonder what it was last time?" (It was 8.5 according to my blog, by the way.) And then I started reading my symptom spotting log from last time. Ugh. I might not be googling, but I certainly am referencing other sources. 

I can't say that my head is where I want it to be right now. I think part of it is having a toddler running around keeping me too busy to think about it much or do a whole lot of pre-cycle planning. I also feel like I don't have the same "community" I had last time. Not that I don't appreciate you all out there :) but last time I followed several other bloggers who were literally going through the same things that I was at the same time. It's different, and definitely a void I'm feeling this time around.

I'm trying to zen myself out before Thursday. I have Wednesday off to yoga, massage, maybe acupuncture. If that doesn't do it, nothing will ;) Or maybe the pre-FET valium will do the trick! Either way and ready or not, blastocyst from straw 2 is going to make its way into my uterus Thursday at 3pm. 

I ordered the Wondfos because you know I'll be peeing on a whole bunch of things in my two week wait!