March Photo Challenge: Day 29

Cut:

A bouquet cut straight from my urban garden. :)

March Photo Challenge: Day 28

Cozy:

On Monday morning I came out to my door to find a pretty yellow package from my sock exchange partner! Turns out we live just a hop, skip, and a jump from each other!

Inside I found these beauties...polka dotted, cashmere heaven. Oh so cozy and just the right bit of crazy peaking out from my rain boots! Love, love, love!

March Photo Challenge: Day 27

Fresh:

Yes, it's a "fresh" cycle. 

Doesn't that sound optimistic and renewing, and positive?! 

I wish I could say I was feeling the same!

It has been a rough day. I knew it was coming like I always know, but there is always that tiny, tiny glimmer of hope that I hold on to until the very end. This morning there was no denying it: the cramps started with a vengeance and with them my mood worsened. 

So back to the RE I go tomorrow to get cleared to start IUI cycle #3. I'm a little bit nervous because on my ultrasound last week I had a residual cyst...hopefully this cycle won't be cancelled.

Despite my ultra-gloomy mood and my bouts of tears every time I talk about it, I am trying to keep a positive outlook for the cycle ahead. It is a fresh start. Literally, everything is starting new, including my uterine lining :)

I don't know why, but when I got home I started googling IUI statistics again hoping to find lots of good stories. 

Lots of people get pregnant on their 3rd or 4th try! Yay! (I totally ignored the BFNs). 

I also calculated what my due date would be if I got pregnant this cycle: January 1st 2013! I do this every month, by the way. Sick. 

I've been reading a lot about it, so I started taking a Vitamin B complex to try to lengthen my luteal phase. I don't know that it's the problem, but it's on the short side and at this point, I'll try it! 

Then I went sock shopping for my "sock exchange" buddy! I picked some winners, let me tell you! So fun! 

Feeling slightly more upbeat, I just had to log in to facebook. Ugh. 

BFF has her maternity photos posted. 

And apparently just got her hospital admissions packet at her appointment today. Double ugh. 

Hide post, hide post.

I should just hide her entirely, but what kind of friend would that make me? The kind that thinks of every excuse to not hang out with her friend of 20+ years and still can't bear to talk about the "elephant in the room" that is her huge belly. Oh wait. That's me.

Then, to make myself feel even more sorry for myself, I started thinking about how pregnant I would be if I had gotten pregnant when I first started trying. 

Then I realized I would have a 7 month old.

Hello and welcome to my rambling pity party.

I apologize if you didn't want to be invited.

"Fresh start" starts tomorrow.

March Photo Challenge: Day 26

Drink:

This is my water bottle. It goes almost everywhere with me, encouraging me to drink my allotted amount of H2O. 

You know that Two Week Wait? Well, it's over. The spotting has started, accompanied by the cramps. CD 1 starts tomorrow. (F*#k!)

If I was being honest with myself, I've known since 9 DPO. Every. Damn. Month. 9 DPO is my nemesis. I always get the twinges and I know. 

On 10 DPO, I gently suggested to The Man that I didn't feel like it was our month. He practically bit my head off for even saying it because it wasn't over until I was full on bleeding. Great. He was pissed off because I shared the terrible news and ruined part of his day. 

I wanted to say, "boo hoo". I wanted to say, "Too F-ing bad!" I wanted to scream at him for wanting me to shoulder the burden of knowing on my own while he lived blissfully in la-la land.

I didn't say any of it. 

Mostly because we were less that half way through our walk through the park and surrounded by people and that could have gotten awkward quick. But also because I took a little time to think about it. 

Just because my mind is filled with thoughts of my cycle day and night, just because I over-analyze every little twinge my body makes, just because I'm going crazy...it doesn't mean that he should have to. If I could shelter myself from every little symptom and just find out when my period showed (or didn't show), I totally would. So for now, I will vent here. I will save him just a little bit of agony. 

He already has to deal with my grumpy, PMS-ing self. And no one should have to go through that :)

March Photo Challenge: Day 25

Sparkle:

I realized when trying to find something to fit this prompt, I don't have a lot of sparkle in my life. I'm not a glittery gal I suppose. Everything I own is more...ummm...not sparkly. 

I have to say though, the two bits of sparkle I own are my favorite. 

One is my engagement ring, picked out by my One and Only. The other is my wedding band, a hand-me-down from my grandma. Everything about it is perfect, in all its imperfections. Not one of the diamonds is the same size and the platinum is banged up delightfully from many years of wear and tear; only three of the years being mine. 

March Photo Challenge: Day 24

Hug:

I'm kind of cheating again because this is an old picture, but I haven't introduced the Mr to my blog yet, so taking a "hug" picture was hard...

 

March Photo Challenge: Day 23

Move:

The last 2 Novembers have involved a lot of moving- I successfully completed a marathon and a half marathon. 

The first year, my friend and I did the marathon. That coincided with the Hubs and I "trying". The training lengthened my cycles enough that I was fooled into thinking that I was pregnant, so I almost skipped it. Little did I know!

This year when my friend and I decided to do the half marathon instead we both decided we might not do it if we were pregnant by then. Guess who was pregnant and who wasn't? Boo.

I am still very much proud of myself for completing 26.2, then 13.1 miles. That's a lot of moving for one day. But I hope I won't be competing this November!