This post is a long time in the making. I don't know why, but I have had a hard time mustering up the oomph to get it going. It was such a wild and crazy day for me that I still think I'm wrapping my head around what happened.
I can tell you this, our childbirth class did not prepare me for this.
The story was supposed to be: contractions start slowly and we start timing them. My friend/doula comes over to our house and helps guide me on when we should go to the hospital. In the meantime, I labor at home. Early labor will take quite a while (since it is my first baby!). We will eat, shower, grab the nicely packed bag, and finally go to the hospital where I will probably labor for quite a while longer (since this is my first baby!). We will come home to a fully prepped house after a short stay in the hospital.
Sounds about right, no?
This is how it really went down:
Like I said, I was enjoying a lovely baby shower potluck by my coworkers and eating way too much yummy food for my squashed pregnant belly.When I stood up to go back to work I thought I had peed my pants, but soon realized that my water was breaking. Word to the wise: I know that a lot of people do not experience a true gush of fluid and that a lot of women even require breaking of their water when they get to the hospital. But some people (like me, apparently!) get a giant gush of fluid and a long stead trickle after that. So pregnant ladies, carry some extra clothes with you and probably one of those doggy pee pads would not be a bad idea either. Had I not been at work steps from L+D, I would have made a big giant mess of myself and everything I walked past.
Anyhoo...
when I got down to labor and delivery it was CRAY-CRAY. I had literally said earlier that day, "I really hope L+D slows down before my baby is born!" because they were SO. BUSY. I grabbed the first nurse I saw and told her that I thought my water had broken. She very calmly asked how many weeks pregnant I was and if the fluid was clear. She then said to wait there while she got a room ready for me and said, "Everything is going to be okay." Those words were comforting and genuine, but the last thing I wanted to hear because while I knew that my baby would most likely be okay,
I was not okay! My husband was across the world! This was the opposite of okay! I quickly texted my hubby and mom to call me STAT, called my co-workers and let them know I would not be coming back, and went straight to the bathroom to change into a gown and the giant mesh panties they gave me.
When my hubby called and I told him he actually said "ha ha, not funny." because he thought I was joking! At this point I had not been seen by anyone yet and did not know what the plan would be, but he immediately started crying and apologizing and headed to the airport. It was heartbreaking hearing him. The complete lack of control I was feeling was amplified in him by 100 times and he was freaking out.
Once I was admitted into a room the OB confirmed that my water had indeed broken...didn't take an MD to tell me that ;) and that I was in labor. I was about 1 cm dilated at that point with baby head down. They started me on IV antibiotics and basically said that I would deliver within 24 hours. Great.
At this point in time I was not in pain and didn't feel like I was in labor, so I was determined that I would hold that baby in as long as possible so that my husband or mom could be there. My friend/doula came in shortly after along with one of my other friends and my Dad started the 4 hour drive down.
I was hooked up to a fetal monitor and contraction monitor (I'm drawing a blank on what this is called) but had to keep getting up to go to the bathroom. My body was doing some serious...clearing out. Not sure if this is normal or not, but I appreciate that my body knew I didn't look forward to pooping while pushing :) Because of my GI..ahem...activity, I was having some cramping, but I wasn't sure if it was contractions or just GI cramping. I think because they were so busy, they sort of just ignored me from there on out and said they would come back to check me in about 6 hours. My nurse friend came prepped to get me through this thing called labor quickly and with as little pain and intervention as possible, so she whipped out the exercise ball and lavender oil and a heat pack for my back and lots of other goodies. She suggested that I get walking around to speed things up. My first reaction to that was, "uhhh...no. No speeding things up." because I was bound and determined to keep the little one in as long as possible. So we waited and chatted.
No one said much about my "strip", but I could tell that I was contracting and it was happening regularly. I started having some back pain that the nurse and my friend confirmed were the contractions. I was not pleased, but uncomfortable enough to go with the suggestion that I get moving and get this babe off my back. That's when my friend said, "Emily, no matter what you do or don't do, you are going to have your baby today and Nick and your Mom are not going to be here." Some tears were shed, but it was what I needed to hear.
From then, things kind of spiraled and time became fuzzy. My friend was Ah-mazing at doing just the right thing and moving me from position to position just when I was getting antsy and more uncomfortable.
I started on the exercise ball rocking and swaying with each contraction. Then I moved back to the bed and had a hot compress on my back. Then I got on my knees and leaned over the bed. I had a hard time in any one position because I just felt like I needed to move and get comfortable. I guess I didn't get the memo that there is no "comfortable" when you're in labor! Ha! But then I got in the bathtub and all was sunshine and butterflies for a while. When people say that water is nature's epidural, they are not kidding! It was THE. BEST! Until it wasn't. And then it really wasn't.
The OB came to check me again and I was 8cm dilated and suddenly having a pretty strong urge to push. I moved from the tub back to the bed and swayed through a few contractions, but pretty immediately I could not control the pushing no matter what I did to my body. It was pretty intense and the weirdest feeling I've ever experienced to feel completely taken over by an urge that rocked my whole body. So strange. I think I screamed, "She's coming out!!! NOW!" And she was! I flipped over and they confirmed I was 10cm dilated and ready to push. Pushing was one of the easier parts of labor for me. I could feel the contractions, but they were no longer painful, they just signaled to me that I should push and in between contractions there was no pain and I could just relax. A few pushes later I met my baby! 6 hours after my water broke. My friend was right...no hubby, no mom.
Her birth was shocking, intense, and empowering. I still think about it all the time and relive all of the craziness. I have no opinions on natural birth vs. epidurals and wasn't sure which way I would go until I was in it. I definitely think the short labor enabled me to power through easier! Medicated or not, c-section or vaginal, birth is no joke and I think gives you a special badge of honor!
A few days after she was born my husband showed me all of the texts that my friend had sent him during the birth...pictures, words, videos. I was completely anti-video before, but I was not about to let my Hubs miss out on the whole thing, so video it was. I have to say, I'm happy to have them too. Vag shots and all ;)
So that's her "coming out" story. This post is a bit of a coming out for me too because I finally feel ready to post full pictures. I'm not sure why, but it seems like the right time to de-anonymize it. So a little peak at Piper's first photo shoot too!
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| Nursery |
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| Those feet! |
Nick finally made it back from Brazil about 30 hours after she was born. Not ideal, but it is was it is. If there is a next time, there will be no business travel...ever!
