What a Day

Yesterday was one of those days. 

The Hubs and I went to his company picnic and we both realized pretty quickly that it wasn't the best idea. Kids, kids kids and a party geared towards...you guessed it: kids! 

The kids were not the part that bothered me. There were adorable little munchkins having the time of their lives everywhere and it was fun just watching.

What bothered me was that everyone asked us when we were having kids and through out comments like, "Just enjoy this now, in a few years you'll be stuck at the bouncy house all day". 

Ugh. 

None of his coworkers have any idea what we've been going through for the last two years, but it was the last thing I wanted to talk about as I watched their little ones frolic around. 

Half way through the picnic The Hubby logged on to Facebook to check someone's name and the first thing he saw was a friend's posting "We are expecting! Ten weeks pregnant and due in February! Etc, etc, etc..." The non-jealous type that he is kindly said, "Wow, did you know A is pregnant? That's great for them." Pause. "Ten weeks...wow. Didn't they just get married in April? How exciting." 

It's almost worse to watch his sadness than it is to deal with my own. Especially when I see how hard he tries to be genuinely happy for other people.

This morning Hubs is off on a quick business trip and I can't shake this melancholy feeling. 

12 DPO, I'm sure PMS has a little something to do with it :)

But! IVF consult on Wednesday! Can't wait to start this next step!

A whole lotta' nothing

I have been quite quite on the blogging lately, mostly because nothing is happening. 

Sometimes I think something is happening, but then we're left where we started.

Of note: The husband was diagnosed with a varicocele. The jury is out on whether it is impacting our baby-making, but I think yes. Meanwhile, he had his best semen analysis to date, so who knows...no surgery for now and everyone agrees that IVF is our best bet.

Currently we wait for insurance authorization for the IVF consultation. I'm not quite sure why the process takes so long and they pay so little, but I guess anything they cover is better than nothing, right?!

I'm guessing we'll start sometime in the early Fall, so now I'm starting to think about how many embryos to transfer if we have the choice to do more than one. The RE I chose is big into single embryo transfer for someone of my age, but part of me thinks if the odds are better with two, why wouldn't we do that? But then the NICU nurse in me slaps myself. Talk about an internal dilemma!

I'm also looking into endometriosis. I don't necessarily have any symptoms but my last RE mentioned that an exploratory lap to rule it out might not be a bad idea. Seems a little invasive...

I might try some diet modifications and see what acupuncture can do for me, just in case.

Any thoughts?